Recovering from Writer's Block

Hello again, after a long time.

As you may have noticed, I have been absent for nearly a whole week. Alright, I have been absent for the same amount of time before, but on those occasions, it was all down to being way too busy with the novel. This time, I have spent all those days listening to AC/DC, applying for marketing and PR roles in Brum and watching re-runs Friends on E4 while miming to nearly every word they were to say. Yes, I have seen the episodes that many times.
No, I was not being lazy. In my last blog, I mentioned forcing myself to write this week. However, as I lay down on my cosy bed with the laptop open in front of me, my mind stopped working like a bust engine. Every time I tried to force out some words, I physically could not think and my brain felt as though it was silently screaming in resistance. My mum demanded that I take a week off from writing, telling me that the reason why I am suffering from a creative drought is because I am overdoing it. Well, unfortunately for me (because it did make me look a bit silly), she was right.
To be honest, I felt a little guilty for not writing. In fact, I was beginning to feel like a fraud, because writers were supposed to love writing. When you read a brilliant novel like ‘A Clockwork Orange’ by Anthony Burgess or ‘The Edible Woman’ by Margret Attwood, you cannot help but think, “He or she has so much passion for what they do!”
However, in the past few days, writing felt like an unpleasant workout in the gym. The fact that I’m lacking the passion I should have made me think if I should even bother with his project.
Luckily, I spoke to Brighton David a few days ago. Being a former Creative Writing student like myself, he knows just as much about writing. I was relived to hear that he also has times where he is really motivated and loves writing, and other times where he hates it. There I was thinking that I must be a terrible writer to hate writing. But alas, not necessarily, for David has times where he can’t stand the thought of writing, especially when he pushes himself to write often. I think that is my problem. I have been pushing myself to write five to seven days a week that is has come to a point where I am so fatigued that even the most exciting scenes are no longer thrilling to write.
Despite my tiredness, another university friend, Nicola has encouraged me to look at the Creative Writing Exchange Group on Facebook to see if Tindal Press (or any other independent publisher) has any opportunities for us wannabees to submit short stories for their anthologies or competitions. Fortunately for us, Tindal Press is going to publish two anthologies, one for any writer and another for Asian writers. Nicola suggested that I go for the latter, for I had planned a British Asian romance novel for the ‘Novel Writing’ module. I never went back to it, for one of the characters was based on my ex and when he moved on with someone else, the project was quickly forgotten.
She threw out some ideas and I have made some quick notes on what I could do (along the lines of a Westernised rebel resisting her strict heritage). But as Nicola does not come back from Pembrokeshire until Saturday, the idea sharing will have to wait. And yes, I know some people would tell me not to juggle two projects at the same time, what with the stress. But I might be planning a month’s break from the novel, while I focus on the short story. After all, it would be nice to use this casual voice again AND it would look great on my CV.

For the mean time, I am just going to take some baby steps with this novel, writing when I feel like it. So far, I have written a very short extract…well its better than nothing.

The Stig

Right, I am going to force myself to write today. For the past few days I have been suffering from what a lot of people would call ‘writer’s block’. I am not sure what ‘writer’s block’ truly is, but for the past few days, I have been staring at a blank Word screen, as my brain remained silent, like a child refusing to explain herself when asked why she stole a few sweets from the jar.
So in preparation for the forcing I will be doing myself next week, I thought I’d give my brain a good warm up by writing this blog. As I have done no writing since the last blog, it would be more fitting talking about what I have been up to during my skiving days.
I spent Thursday and Friday applying for more marketing and pr roles, which to be honest as been frustrating because a) there are very few vacancies for undergraduate noobs like me, and b) making changes to my existing CV copies so it looks like I want to work for that company and that company alone is getting tiring.
Luckily I got a day off yesterday, for I arranged to meet Birmingham David. Annoyingly, I had to convince my mum that I was not seeing a boyfriend before I left the house. Considering that I hardly get any phone calls and I can only go out every now and then because I’m so busy and skint, she should not have these silly paranoid thoughts. Not that I feel I am wrongly on the receiving end of these accusations, for she was like this when my brother was at university, suspecting him of having a secret relationship with his closet girl mate. Yes, mum, people can have innocent friendships with people of the opposite sex. I hope I do not behave like this if I ever have children :/
It was not as grand as the last time, as we agreed to keep it low-key by chilling at his house. Although we did go to Modelzone before we caught the bus to Moseley, which made David very happy as he’s a huge aeroplane and car fan. The place was filled with miniature cars and trains, superhero figurines and aeroplanes hanging from the ceiling. The most impressive was a train choo-chooing through a model village, laden with grass; Brussels sprout trees and plastic houses. But what made David the most happiest was having his picture taken with a man in a Stig costume. I’m not sure if it’s the actual Stig from the Top Gear shows, but it made for a very enviable Facebook pic.
When we got to his house, I was given the grand tour. It was a very swanky place, with its Pop Art wall hangings, XMen figurines and shelves stacked with Rock and Indie albums. I was introduced to David’s flatmates Martin, who seemed lovely enough. He let us borrow an episode of Flight of the Concords, which David and I watched before putting on Pan’s Labyrinth. In this episode, Jermaine accidently has a one night stand with a woman, who, to his horror, turns out to be Australian (there is a rivalry between New Zealanders and Australians). I’ve got to say, based on that show; it is funnier than the Mighty Boosh. Yes, I am making comparisons because both shows are about budding musicians, where the two guys break into song and dance every now and then for our amusement. I say FOTC is better because it’s more laugh out loud hilarious due to its offensive content, whereas the Mighty Boosh is lukewarm funny. But maybe I say that because I’ve grown out of laughing at absurd things, like a man fighting a kangaroo in a boxing match or a fox watching porn.
David’s other housemate Lee and his friend arrived later on from a tattooing trip. He also seemed lovely enough and he was a lot more charismatic that he looked in his photos (that is a compliment by the way). After stuffing ourselves with flapjacks and brownies, I had to go home because my sister-in-law invited the family around for a meal. I thought she was going to prepare something fresh from the oven and stove, but it transpired to be large amounts of left-over food from the previous night. The reason for that was that she had invited friends around for the meal, but they failed to turn up. Rude as hell, but oh well, at least the night ended perfectly with lovely meal while watching ‘Have I Got News for You’ and ‘Mock the Week’.

My Inner Mean Fiend...Muahahahaha

Hello again,

I finished chapter 16 today. Even though it took a while for me to start writing it, I’ve got to admit, it was the most enjoyable chapter I have written. I think it’s because I’m dealing with some very egomaniacal characters now, both of whom are Devs, which are fun to write anyways. But I think the reason why I found them so easy to write (and I hate to admit this) is because I could delve into my inner mean fiend. I have always told my friends that these characters in question were inspired by some arrogant bastards who I was very unfortunate to meet. And yes, although I borrowed a few competitive, petty traits from these real life people, the psyche of these characters were very much inspired by the darker side of my brain. I think everyone has a part to them that hates being ridiculed and likes to lash out at anything that causes harm to their self esteem, whether it is someone who they envy or someone who envies them.

Speaking of characters, this chapter really fleshes out many of the existing characters by having them foil against the two Devs in question. Yes, the main characters have already been foiled against one another throughout the novel (don’t think they are merely one dimensional!), but I think this chapter further demonstrates their natures. This is shown in the dinner scene, which was a fun one because I had the opportunity to write an explosive argument. Yes, I know arguments can be annoying in books, especially if they are pointless. But the fact that were are so many differing personalities in one table, an argument was bound to happen. Plus, I felt that the scene showed their morals perfectly.

Other than that, I am happy with what I have written however, I have a feeling that the ending may be a little too suggestive, as it shows a Dev entering his bedroom with a female. I only included it to show that the character is a bit of a womaniser, which I think adds to his charming yet ‘need for social approval’ personality. But I think this scene is something I will have to evaluate on when it comes to redrafting and editing.

Resting...

Hello.

I wrote a paragraph of Chapter 16 and spent much of today applying for copywriting and marketing roles and regular part time work as it didn’t require so much mental strain. I know this is my mind’s way of telling me to chill. And yes, I am aware that this is ironic since I am writing this blog. But writing in a journal is much different to writing of piece of fiction. With the latter, you do need to pay attention to so many things that you need not care about when writing in a journal – rhythm, showing and telling, how you show and tell and the style of writing. Not only that, but for the novel, I am writing in a manner that is not so enjoyable for me to write in. Yes, I could easily write in this breezy conversational tone, but it doesn’t really suit a story that is supposed to be set in a sort of 15th century India (as one of my respondents put it).

I know I should not be slacking, since I had yesterday off. To be honest, the wedding was pretty boring. But then, what did I really expect, especially when I am attending a wedding where I do not know the bride or groom. I only tagged along because my sister-in-law was being very persuasive and it was the perfect opportunity to power-dress, the latter being the bigger motive. Unfortunately my dad and brother only gave my mum and me 30 minutes to get ready. Now for a guy, this may be more than enough time. But for a woman, it is the equivalent of forcing a guy to get ready in 30 seconds.

So unfortunately, I didn’t really have much time to sort out the jewellery (which I changed my mind about at last minute, opting for a yellow and black Kill Bill look, rather than the wishy-washy silver jewellery matching the embroidery). So I was forced to go to the wedding, with very little jewellery, which didn’t bother me much as I’m a very minimalistic person. However, tell that to my mum and sister-in-law and they’ll be gasping as though you have just told them that you have slept with 50 men in your entire life. In fact, they even offered me their jewellery to wear, because “people notice if you don’t wear jewellery and will feel sorry for you”. Well, I’ve been to a few weddings where I have been trinket-free and I have not seen any one give me an unblinking, glazed look. But just to make my mum happy, I agreed to wear her chunky gold bracelet.

Not much to report other than sitting down on a plastic chair and watching the groom stroll his way to the staging area, with drums pounding down your ear holes. Not to mention waiting in a queue for 15 minutes, until it was our turn to get some food, which I was told to wolf down, because the others who were waiting in the line need a place to eat as well. Then there was more sitting down and to be brutally honest, I was relieved when my sister-in-law and brother agreed that it was time to leave.

Now that I am back with my unstraightened hair and drab clothing, I will take today off from writing and pray that I will have some motivation tomorrow so I can get chapters 16 and 17 done by the end of the week 

Diver

Hey hey!

I’m back again for another update. I’ve just finished chapter 15, 16th chapter to be precise if I include the prologue. And yes, I am including the prologue to make my progress seem larger, because lets face it, saying that you’ve written 16 chapters is more satisfying (and I must say, more impressive) than saying that you’ve written 15.

Chapter 14 is particularly strong as there is a huge scene which finishes with the introduction of a species of Devs that I have been dying to include since starting this project. The next chapter took a few days to write, simply because I have been feeling quite bogged down with writing everyday. It is like climbing Snowdon or Ben Nevis. During the three hour walk up, there are going to be time where you will feel fatigued. My mum and sister-in-law have been complaining that I’ve been spending too much time on the laptop and I’m not giving myself enough breaks. But I’ve told them both that novels do not write themselves. In the words of my dad (or rather the Hindu holy book), you are never going to get the pearls at the bottom of the sea by sitting on the coast. You have to dive into the sea and spend hours swimming to get what you want.

I think that’s the down-side of being an ambitious and impatient person. You want to get everything done as soon as possible. I have set myself a deadline of August to get the first draft of all chapters done. Hopefully by then, I will have a job and I can spend the weekends and evenings looking through the drafts like an unknowing reader. As any wanabee writer will know, first drafts will never get you published, unless you are very lucky, or the publisher has very low standards.

The biggest highlight of my week was when I called my friend Ashish, for I had not spoken to him since going job hunting several weeks ago. We could have met up today, but as the EDL are marching in Dudley and I do not care to have racial abuse thrown at me, I was not willing to go out today. Ashish told me that he read my Prologue a few weeks ago, which he really adored. He said that he got a very Arabian/Persian vibe from it and that it reminded him of a Bollywood movie with Ash Rai – not sure what the name was again, since I’m not a Bollywood fanatic. I was pretty secure with the Prologue anyways, since Birmingham David said that it was very intriguing and got him asking a lot of questions as to what will happen later in the novel. However, it is good to have motivation when you are writing, because there are times when you look at what you’re doing and think, “What is the point in me writing this?” or “this is turning into a bag of shit”. But having people tell you that they are hooked onto the first chapter makes you want to write more and not disappoint them. After all, the most annoying thing about a book (or movie) is when it starts brilliantly, but then slides downhill.

I will be giving myself a much needed break tomorrow, for I will be attending a wedding. I am not sure who the couple are, but I decided to use this opportunity to do some power dressing. Yes, we are talking about glimmering saris as bright as stained glass and some immaculate make-up. It is one of those days when you can feel as glamorous as those A-listers on the red carpet. Well, the only difference is that my sari probably cost £80, whereas Penelope Cruz gets to choose from a selection of $5000 worth of Armanis and Valentinos. But since I have never been much of a fussy or envious person, I am more than happy with the former 

A Grand Day Out

Hey guys!

Thought I’d post another entry. I really shouldn’t be, as I have not written much since finishing Chapter 13, but I thought this blog would be a good warm up exercise after three days of slacking.

It is not that I have been lazy for the sake of being lazy. I have written one page of Chapter 14 on Saturday, but ran out of steam when it came to writing a piece of dialogue. My brother tells me that I need to have a few days of reading, which I do anyways when I’m chilling. During the Germany vs Uruguay match (who cares about 3rd place?); I read a few pages of Terry Pratchett’s ‘The Last Hero’, which Birmingham David strongly recommended to me. I must say, I am a huge fan of Prachett’s laid back writing and sense of humour, which often makes me feel a little envious. But rest assured, it is healthy admiration envy, not the grotesque sort that makes the person want to rip the book apart and lie about how awful the writing is.

As I have been feeling a bit bogged down of late, probably because of too much writing and obsessing about tiny little flaws in my life, I agreed to meet Birmingham David in Birmingham for a catch up yesterday afternoon. If I must use my poetic voice: ‘the trees gave out a tourmaline glow and the Napoleon and Art Deco buildings looked sandy under the sun’. Yes, it was that beautiful a day that beautiful language must be used to describe it.

We first went to the Art Gallery, which was more my idea than David’s. Here, we had a look at ‘The Staffordshire Saxon hoard’, which is a collection of Saxon gold found in England, excavated by Birmingham University Archaeology Unit and Staffordshire County Council. David and I marvelled at the Celtic patterned rings, gilt-pieces and gold strips engraved with inscriptions through glass boxes. Even though they were faded and bronzed, they did look a lot more sophisticated than the shiny trinkets you see on trackie wearing teens these days.

We then went to the Retrospective gallery, which showed a collection of photographs taken by Steve McCurry, including his famous Afghan girl with the Peridot eyes. I have to say, his pictures made me want to book holidays to these places, if only I had the cash. Geishas in kaleidoscopic robes, the crumbling buildings of Afghanistan and Indian dancers embellished in bells and jewellery were only to name a few. Looking at these photos really did make me wish that I paid more attention to the landscapes in my novel, but as my lecturer said, you need to focus on the story, and then add little details later if they are necessary.

David and I then walked to Brindley Place, as planned for a few drinks. The place was very much like the Waterfront in Dudley, which of course would be as it is a row of warehouses-turned-bars by a canal side. But, as it is Birmingham, it was much more sophisticated. The restaurant and bar windows looked as glossy as a sheet of waterfall. In all, the places had the kind of air most posh places in London have. We drank outside a bar called ‘the Slug and the Lettuce’, where David bought us some Pimms, which included Orange, cucumber, mint, juice and a shot of alcohol. As cheesy as this sounds, each sip was so amazing, I paused for a moment to savour the Summery taste. Amusingly for David, I got a little tipsy.

Luckily though, the light-headed feeling wore away as we walked through Birmingham Town centre. We spent most of our time in Waterstones, where we flipped through fantasy novels and comic books. As for the latter, I really do need to buy a copy of Kick-Ass, despite the strong sexual and violent content, which makes the film version (which was brilliant by the way!) look tame. David promised to buy a copy of the Watchmen, which I strongly recommended, if I promised to buy V for Vendetta. Speaking of Alan Moore’s works, I forgot to pester my brother to let me lend the ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’, which according to him, makes you realise what an utter travesty the film version is.

David and I intended to go into Topman, where his housemate Lee works. David had shown me Lee’s Facebook profile several weeks ago. Considering that he is a Noel Fielding doppelganger, he does look untouchably cool and vibrant. But unfortunately, I didn’t get to meet him as the store was closing and the security guards were only letting the customers out. And that was when our adventure ended, as I had to get home in time to watch the Spain vs Holland match. With regards to that, a Paul the Octopus’s prediction was right, as it was Spain who lifted the golden globe. There I was thinking that psychic powers were as believable as unicorns.


LINKS (you really do need to check out the Staffordshire Hoard and Steve McCurry)

http://www.staffordshirehoard.org.uk/

http://www.stevemccurry.com/main.php

PS, Sorry the links on my stupid account does not work...boo times :(

Its been a while...

Hello again!

It’s been a while since I’ve last blogged, as I’ve been so busy with writing and browsing through DeviantArt. As for the latter, my friend David (Birmingham David) suggested that I set up an account on there, as my Facebook account for my illustrations has been very pointless as of late. So far, it’s Ok. Two of my paintings have been downloaded and my illustrations have received a lot of page views (does 14 count for a three day old account?). But to be honest, visitors and artists on that site have better taste and the ones that look like they’ve been drawn by professionals receive the most comments, downloads and views. I was tempted this morning to draw a picture of Harley Quinn, my favourite Batman villain, but this time, making more effort with the style and detail so it’s up to standard. But alas, I tried to draw her sitting in a secretary chair and gave up. It’s been too long since I’ve drawn anything and I’m too out of practice right now to attempt anything ambitious.

So I did what I did best today (or rather better at)….writing. I have just completed Chapter 13 a few minutes ago. I must say, I am very happy, for now I have only ten chapters to go. Yes, ten chapters may seem a lot, but for me, it tends to get lesser as quick as my nephew waffling down a Cornetto.

At the moment, I think my progress is going well. Again, I’ve deviated from the original chapter plan, because as I’ve said before, stories tend to write themselves. My protagonist now has magical powers, for I could not think of any way a burning house could be put out. But rest assured, I am happy with the results, because not only do I have a spectacular scene (won’t give too much away) but I suddenly realised that the protagonist needs to develop powers as he is half Devic.

At the moment, I am watching Match of the Day, waiting for the Germany vs Spain match. I am going to stay neutral today. I’m still annoyed with the German goalkeeper for conning the linesman into thinking that Lampard’s goal was not one and I’ve heard that a few of the Spanish fans have been making monkey noises in the stadium. Yes, I know that they are not representative of all Spanish people and that most of them are pretty pleasant. But making monkey noises is even worse than using any of the racial derogatory words. In the words of Joey, ‘it goes so far past the line, they can’t even see it. The line is a dot to them!’ No pun intended by the way.

On the subject of the World Cup, I’m really happy that Holland won yesterday. Over the past few weeks since England lost, every team I have supported have lost: Portugal, Brazil, Ghana (I only supported them because my ex was supporting Uruguay) and Argentina. I was beginning to think that my shouting and cheering were a bad luck charm. But, alas Holland performed really well yesterday despite it and I’m definitely going to support them in the final :)